If Wishes Were Curses Read online

  Not that it mattered. As Kiran’s adoring gaze at Terezal proved, it was all too easy to forget Allisandra Evanenko. “I’m glad you’ve had a chance to meet Terezal, Sandy. She’s wonderful.”

  I studied his face thoughtfully. Kiran wasn’t the sort to project emotions at anyone. He was quiet, sarcastic, and low-key as a rule. I’d never seen his eyes this glazed, even when he was forced to listen to someone he thought was stupid.

  Then again, maybe it was proof my ex had finally found love outside of the canvases he painted and his graphic design work. With someone else. I shunted the glum thoughts aside. I could feel Josie’s eyes on me, could sense the questions buzzing from her. Didn’t need magic for that.

  “Good seeing you, Kir.” I gave him a little wave, forcing down any more venom. The

  situation wasn’t worth it, no matter what my upset feelings said. My ex could keep his happiness. “Yinz have a great night!”

  I’m sure he said something in response, but I was moving down the sidewalk too fast to listen. Josie kept pace next to me, silent.

  After two more turns, we reached her compact car, shoved into a cramped space in a small parking lot on Spring Way. Josie hadn’t said a word. At least that was something. The quiet made it easier to dwell on how much my life sucked. Usually not my favorite topic, but what I wanted had never mattered.

  Josie broke the silence. “Allis, about that whole thing back there—”

  Here it came, more questions. My words shot out in irritation. “He’s a rich kid wannabe rebel. And a genie. His mother runs the Grant Foundation like a wish granter mafia. I was stupid, and he was hot, and we didn’t think—”

  Josie held up a hand. “I get it. That was one reason I left my hometown. I won’t ask any more questions, but if you want to throw something or burn it down, I’m here for you.”

  A laugh escaped me, filled with the sudden relief at being understood. I didn’t deserve that from someone I’d just met. “Burn something down? Just how much firebird is in you?”

  “Enough to survive a barn going up in flames from the inside. With my ex’s truck in there. After I lit the match.” She pursed her lips. “The day after I caught him making out with my best friend.”

  A smile tugged at my lips. The girl had a temper beneath her polite demeanor, which wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, when trying to stay alive in the city, it could be a very good thing.

  “Well, I broke up with Kiran once I realized it wasn’t going anywhere. I wanted something real, but it wasn’t.”

  The whole thing had been a mistake. I sighed. Josie touched my hand, quickly and hesitantly. “I understand.”

  “Yeah, I know you do.” I felt her genuine desire to see good for me, startling in its authenticity.

  I set my jaw. That was it. I was going to help Josie find someone. Maybe I could use her help starting a real business, if she didn’t have a job. Maybe I could offer her a better job if I went ahead with the business of matchmaking, potion making, and romantic investigations on my own.

  After all, one of my hang-ups was organization—I hated doing all that myself. Gideon could do some, but he and I both had our limits.

  Besides, it wouldn’t hurt Josie to help others out.

  “Are you any good at paperwork?”

  “Um, what?” She blinked, then nodded. “I used to answer phones and do data entry at my parents’ antique shop. Why?”

  I opened my mouth to make her an offer when she suddenly screamed.

  “Allis, behind you!”

  Something low and menacing growled.

  I whirled around.

  Just in time to see fangs and claws, aimed at my throat.

  Chapter 4

  First thought: grizzly bears didn’t belong in the Strip District.

  Second thought: this bear was a shifter. Had to be, from the signals my magic was

  sending my brain, as well as my own experiences around shifters —since my brother was one, mostly. And the bear must be from out of state, since there were no local grizzly clans. That was the only way any of this made sense.

  Third thought: I didn’t want to die at the hands of a grizzly bear shifter. But I didn’t want

  to kill him either. Shifters tended to side with shifters, and I didn’t want the entire shifter community pissed off at me. Besides, I liked shifters. They were straightforward, for the most part, and a lot less temperamental than most Fae. A bit prejudiced toward outsiders, but as long as you understood their odd mix of human and animal behaviors, everything was fine.

  Except right now. Right now, everything was really not fine.

  I ducked and grabbed Josie, teleporting both of us a few feet to the right. I didn’t dare try

  any farther. Not when my brain was scrambled with fear and curiosity and stress. I’d likely embed us inside the molecules of a nearby car.

  Anger filled me. If only I didn’t have that curse-mark limiting everything! But ‘if only’ wouldn’t change the situation. The bear let out a roar and lumbered toward me, knocking into other cars in the parking lot.

  Josie gripped my hand like steel. “I’ve got a gun in my purse. A tiny one. Think that’ll work?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a few people gathering. One of them was taking video. The grizzly shifter had their glamour down, so everyone could see them for what they were. And I didn’t have enough to cover us both. Irritation curled my lips. Because that is what you do when you see a grizzly attacking a human: take video and hope it makes you a celebrity.

  This was a nightmare.

  “Can you guarantee you won’t hit any bystanders?”

  “No,” Josie said. “Wish I had my pepper spray.”

  “Me too.” I tensed as the grizzly lumbered closer. I tried to read what the beast wanted. It was always harder to get inside the head of a shifter when they were full-on animal. And this one was being particularly difficult. It was like using a toothpick to drill through cement.

  Two things were clear: it was hungry, and it wanted me dead.

  The grizzly gave another roar, and I shoved Josie to the side. “Go. Run!”

  “Won’t it chase me?”

  “Testing that out, but I doubt it. Go get help!”

  “I can’t just leave you here!”

  “Yes you can! You have to!”

  There was no sense endangering anyone else, especially when the shifter was after me.

  It lunged at me again, its breath smelling of fish and copper. I narrowly teleported to safety, reappearing behind it. A stinging sensation on my arm revealed that I’d gotten a cut. At least it was a shallow one. I might not be as durable as a full-blood genie, but even at half strength I was hard to hurt. That cut should have been much deeper.

  The beast wheeled around faster than it should have been able to. It inhaled a great sniff, and another desire from the bear hit me like a shock of cold water.

  Blood. It wanted my blood more than anything else. Alarms shot through my brain. There was no way a shifter should be craving blood. They should want flesh. To rip me limb from limb.

  This was something else entirely. I couldn’t let this messed-up beast get anywhere near anyone else, which was just as well, because it clearly wanted an Allis milkshake. It was even licking the traces of my blood off its claws.

  Gross.

  Killing the grizzly would be possible. Just teleport random things inside the beast’s guts until its organs were scrambled. But that would take focus, which I didn’t have at the moment. And the last thing I needed was a shifter kill on my hands. Shifters might have a lot of territorial infighting, but they all stuck together against an outsider.

  No, killing had to be a last-resort solution. I needed to know more about the bear if I was gonna stop it. And that meant I needed some skin-to-skin contact with the beast to try to bust through its thick, bloodlusting bear skull.

  At that moment, I heard the screech of a car backing up. Josie was making her getaway as quickly as possible, but sh
e still managed to ram the back of her car into the grizzly enough to get its attention. It growled a fierce warning, turning its head toward her for a second.

  It was enough time for me to get close and slap my hand on the bear’s back, forcing my magical way inside its mind, trying to figure out what it wanted. What it feared.

  My toothpick carved in deeper, and a host of realizations snapped through my mind.

  The shifter wanted blood. Any blood. It needed it, craved it desperately like water and air and food. Even more than those things. A lot more. The only other beings I knew that craved blood that much were vampires.

  What did it fear?

  Me. At the same time as it wanted my blood, it feared me in a primal way, sensing me bone-deep as an enemy. I was a threat to its very survival, not just presently, but always.

  Confusion froze me. Bears ate flesh—so what was the blood craving about? And why would a bear shifter fear me? I was only half genie. I had a freaking curse-mark! Couldn’t it smell that? Couldn’t it sense my low magic? Sure, I could kill the beast, but I was hardly a nemesis. I’d never even met a grizzly shifter.

  The grizzly’s massive head swung toward me again, and it kicked out with its nearest paw. The blow flung me onto my back, knocking the breath out of me and jarring my head. My mental toothpick splintered against something else: the icy cold of the shifter’s mind.

  Shifters didn’t have cold, inner minds. Well, snakes did, but even those were reptilian cold. This was the cold of death.

  Vampire cold.

  The beast reared up over me, ready to come down slicing and tearing. I had to teleport out of there! The grizzly gave another loud, vicious roar that sent shocks of fear up my spine. That did not help my focus one bit. I couldn’t afford to rematerialize into a wall or something. He could still hurt people! And what was that vampire bloodlust thing? That was impossible. Shifters couldn’t be turned. They died first.

  But if I stayed here, I died.

  The grizzly pounced.

  I flung my arms above my head, pulling as much magic as I could into protecting myself. My hands tingled, anticipating the blows. A shriek erupted from my throat.

  Then the world flipped around me. Black and white, every color mingled into a kaleidoscope of possibility and potential. Chaos crafted from flame and wind whirled in a dervish of energy inside me, aching to get out and set the world spinning upside down for days—or forever.

  Whatever I feel like. Whatever I choose. There are no limits.

  Strange, intense fire burst from my fingers. There was no warmth to them. No smoke. Just pure, deep blue flames, flickering to engulf my palms and moving up my arms. Streaming out of my pores in potent release. Defying the restrictions of the curse-mark.

  The flames arced into the bear’s body above me, absorbing into his fur and filling him with fire. The beast wailed and tried to move off me, paws clawing at my pants, but he couldn’t budge. The flames held him fast, becoming ropes curving around inside him and consuming the cold emptiness.

  His eyes flared with red flames. He roared in agony, his mouth filled with them. Then everything inside him went dark, like someone had shut off the lights of his soul.

  Not someone. Me.

  I can shut off the lights of anyone I want.

  Any time I want.

  He fell to the side with a sickening groan.

  I stared at my arms and hands. The flames were gone. My curse-mark glowed and

  throbbed, searing me with the reminder that my forbidden magic had escaped and doom was coming.

  Only I had no idea what I’d done. There had been chaos and ruin. Immeasurable beauty. And then, nothing. Only a hollow singing within me, and the thick, implacable wall between me and my magic. Hadn’t even known what I was missing.

  Now, I knew. And I craved more.

  I breathed deeply, trying to rein in my wayward thoughts. Then I rolled off to the side and stretched out, trying to remind myself that my limbs existed. After a moment of flexing my fingers and toes, I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket and pressed Theiya’s number.

  “Yes? What is it?”

  I swallowed hard as I stood up, trying to find my voice. What could I say? I’d killed a shifter. Someone’s life was gone, someone’s soul had moved on to whatever afterlife the Fae had, all because of me. Half of me was filled with grief and revulsion. The other half was surprisingly calm, certain I had done the right thing and completely fine with it.

  At last, I managed something approaching a normal tone.

  “It’s Allis. I need a full clean-up crew. Shifter went down in the Strip District. Parking lot on Spring Way, near the taco shop.”

  “Contained within the magisphere?”

  I glanced around. By some mercy, there weren’t many people that had witnessed my fight with the bear. “No. You’ll need mind-wipes. And there was a guy with a cell phone camera.”

  “Of all the putrid mold-stench.” Ah, tree elf curses. Theiya picked them up at the Fae court.

  I stared at the beast. “Thei, I had to kill the shifter.”

  “Rot,” she cursed again. “Don’t go anywhere, Allis. I mean that. You know how they get, even when their kind is at fault. They’ll want to handle it all themselves. Running will only make you appear guilty.”

  “I know.” The words were numb.

  I pressed the end call button and leaned against the nearest car. A black bird, some kind of crow or raven, landed on the grizzly carcass and began picking at the fur. I wanted to shoo it away, but my voice was absent and my limbs were lead, as if I’d run a marathon.

  None of this felt real.

  I didn’t know what was worse. That I’d killed a shifter. That I was sure it was somehow a vampire, even though that didn’t make sense. Or that I’d broken through the curse-mark and embraced something far more powerful than I’d ever seen.

  But I’d used that forbidden magic on another Fae and killed them.

  That got me a death sentence.

  The raven would soon have another body to pluck at.

  Chapter 5

  It had happened. I’d finally landed in the zebra room.

  I stared around the special Fae interrogation room of the 49th Precinct. Each wall was crisscrossed with stripes of black and white magic invisible to human eyes. But if you had even a little magic blood in you, the walls turned into a shifting, dizzying miasma designed to put an offender off-balance and make them more inclined to talk.

  Just the idea of this room had made me nauseous. On the few occasions I’d been to the precinct for private investigator business, I’d steered clear of the area where the room was.

  Now, seated inside it, the walls were easier to look at than Theiya. In fact, the more I studied them, the more they made sense. There was a soothing chaos in the way they overlapped and tricked the eyes. It relaxed a part of my brain I hadn’t realized was tense and settled the part of me still gibbering over the whole killing a shifter mess.

  The crazy vibes were actually rejuvenating. Even more than the magic pulse of the healing salve that had eliminated the cut on my arm before I’d been shoved into this room.

  “Allis? Are you … humming?”

  Her words cut through the pleasant disorder in my mind. I glanced down at the table and sighed. “Maybe.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have been enjoying the striped walls so much. Maybe that was a sign that the doom my curse-mark was supposed to prevent was leaking through. But the curse-mark had helped me stop the bear shifter who had felt like a vampire.

  Right. That was the other reason I’d been staring at the walls. Theiya didn’t believe my story. At least, not the vampire part. The knowledge sank into my chest. Theiya and I didn’t always see eye to eye, but I thought she’d be a little more supportive.

  Then again, she was Fae. Part of the court, although she didn’t say what role, and I didn’t ask. Maybe I’d never really known her.

  “Could you repeat what you experienced and how you acted from t
he beginning?”

  “No. I’ve already told you five times.” Annoyance filled me as I finally looked at her. Shadows traced her high cheekbones, which disappeared under her protective sunglasses. Even Theiya couldn’t tolerate the zebra room. Concern matched the annoyance in her features, but that didn’t overturn my frustration. “I know the drill, Thei. You’re asking me to repeat myself so you can study the nuances in my explanations to see if I’m making things up or showing signs of instability. It’s past midnight, and I’m done with this.”

  I pushed my chair away from the table, then a bright light surrounded me, making it impossible to see. Theiya’s voice pierced through. “Not yet, Allis.”

  “This trick, Theiya? Really? I know I can close my eyes and walk through.” I tapped one of the light panels. My fingernails hit something solid. Shock prickled through me.

  “Different trick.”

  I was trapped. Theiya was actually holding me here. I crossed my arms, anger and fear flooding through me. “You have no right to detain me.”

  “You’re a magical. You’re half-Fae. That means you have different rights, and you have far less of them than other Fae do.”

  “I’m also human. This is a human police station. You were saying?”

  “You’re grayling. You still belong to our courts.” The light faded, and Theiya stood there, mouth set in a line. “I didn’t want to go here yet. I was trying to buy you some time and give you a chance to reveal something more. Something that would help you.”

  “For what?”

  Theiya’s expression changed from detective friend—and sometimes antagonizer—to the Fae enforcer she was. “Allisandra Evanenko, you are being charged with the unlawful killing of Ulrik Genster of the Opeka bear clan, as well as breaking the Magisphere Accords by said death happening within eyesight of such mortal humans as were passing by.”

  “His glamour had failed, and I didn’t have enough for both of us!”

  She raised her voice. “Furthermore, you are found guilty of using illegal magic in order to do so. The sentence for such crimes is death, to be administered by the grizzly clan head after you are delivered to the clan homeland within the week.”